For many of us, the time will come when our elderly family members need assistance. Their needs may range from physical and emotional support to helping them manage their responsibilities and finances as limitations arise. While you may not be aware of the specific challenges they might face, there are several proactive steps you can take now to assist them in being ready.
Take inventory of their financial assets – Compile a list of what their assets are, where they are held and how to access them. You will want to know if they have a safe deposit box and where the keys are. Determine where their investment accounts are and if they have online account access with passwords. If agreed upon, you can assist them with managing their finances by adding you as an authorized account signer, rather than as a joint account owner, which could change their estate disposition unknowingly. By designating you with a power of attorney, you can play a crucial role in ensuring the accessibility and proper management of their digital assets in the event of their incapacity.
Some platforms also offer an easy way to add a legacy contact contractually, such as for your Apple ID through Apple’s Digital Legacy feature.
Find and review any estate planning documents – There are certain estate documents that everyone should have, including a will, power of attorney documents (healthcare and financial), a living will and, if appropriate, a trust agreement.
It is imperative to ensure that the original documents of your family member are stored in a safe yet accessible location, as copies are generally not considered valid. An estate attorney should review the documents to make sure they are up-to-date and reflect your family member’s current wishes. In 2018, North Carolina updated the Uniform Power of Attorney Act, which resulted in outdated statutory language in any financial power of attorney document drafted prior to 2018. You should also confirm that your family member’s retirement accounts and life insurance policies have properly executed beneficiary designations so that these accounts pass to the appropriate beneficiary instead of by default through their estate.
Even though it may not be legally required, it is generally advisable to register a person’s financial power of attorney with the Register of Deeds once it needs to be executed to manage their affairs. Copies of the healthcare documents may be given to their physicians and, in North Carolina, can be registered and made available online through the Secretary of State.
A financial power of attorney may be drafted to allow you to act on behalf of your family member as soon as they sign it, or it may require proof of incapacity. Although some may be reluctant to make their financial power of attorney active while they still have the capacity, as long as trust is not a concern, it can prevent the complication of having to find a physician willing to make that declaration. In addition, cognitive decline is often slow and intermittent, and this will help you protect them at all stages.
If your family member does not have existing estate documents, you should encourage them to meet with an estate planning attorney as soon as possible. Depending on your family dynamics, you may want to include as many trusted family members as you can in the discussions to avoid any potential conflicts or assertions of undue influence. Having these conversations can be challenging, but it becomes even more challenging when you have to navigate matters concerning your family member’s wishes without being prepared with the necessary legal documentation or guidance.
Begin preparing now – Physical and mental limitations can be hard to predict or control but taking a few steps now can help ease the transition. Helping may be as simple as installing bars in the bathroom or setting up a Lyft, Uber or taxi account for them once driving becomes difficult. With the rise of scammers targeting the elderly, you might consider unlisting their phone number and reminding them not to answer calls from an unknown number. Ensuring their regular contacts are entered into their phone may help with this. If they are online, remind them not to click on attachments or links they are not expecting and consider limiting their online access for their protection. There are many valuable resources such as AARP and local community caregiver groups that provide additional advice and support. You may want to interview home health aides or visit long-term care facilities even before the need is apparent. Many of the best companies and facilities have lengthy waitlists, and you want to have good options if the time comes when they can no longer live independently.
Even if you live far away from your aging family members, there are still many ways you can help. And you should begin having important conversations as soon as possible. Having a plan in place not only provides peace in the meantime but can also avoid significant legal headaches and expense down the road.
